Looking back on my post yesterday, I realize that I was a bit more worked up than perhaps the situation warranted... just maybe :) I don't know why, but today I've felt very at peace with the world. Controlling, Type-A Moi? Indeed! I was running late for a train this evening after a long day and as I hurried along with that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach, I suddenly thought "What's the worst that could happen? What's the worst that could happen if I miss this train? I wait an hour for the next one." Normally, this would be enough to send me scampering, but not today. I just thought "Okay."
Earlier in the day, I had found myself looking back on the last few years. Over all my struggles in grad school and since I graduated, over all the promises I made to myself and all the ones I've broken. And I suddenly smiled. I had this thought that "Oh my gosh, I've DONE it. I finished grad school, found a good job, and have been working successfully." This freed my mind to draw the following conclusion: even if I quit tomorrow, I've still done what I set out to do with grad school. So what if it wasn't "The One" career-wise... I've persevered and have not let myself down.
Maybe my zen moment with the train makes more sense now :) I hope my mind can keep this going!
UPDATE: I just realized that I was also more zen about stomach bugs earlier today. I hate, hate, HATE throwing up, and have long been afraid of going anywhere near anyone who is or may be sick. I'm the girl who feels sick when she sees someone throwing up on the side of the highway or hears a stranger throwing up in a public bathroom, and don't even get me started about the ER!! Gag! But today, I calmly dealt with spending a bunch of time with a coworker who then disclosed to me that his daughter had thrown up on him yesterday. Gross! But I'll be ok. Besides, I'll have to deal with it some day in the future - unless I plan on having kids who somehow can't/don't throw up. Hmmm... if only!
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