I guess it runs in the family

My dad has a huge family: 9 sibs, their spouses, kids, and grandchildren. Since they are literally scattered across the country (from Boston to Denver to El Paso) we never saw them much growing up. Without two family reunions when I was thirteen and fifteen, I would never have met many of them. But apparently, similarities run in the family.

The obsessions with flamingos and Aruba and crossword puzzles are just the beginning for me and one of my aunts. In the midst of my uncertainty about the future, with all the swirling anxieties I've been feeling and the lonliness of wondering if anyone else feels the same, my aunt apparently went through the exact same thing a few decades ago. She was a college grad who went straight through law school, passed the bar, and started at a firm. And shortly into her career, she began questioning if this was the life for her. Apparently her "moment" was a sit-down with partners where they spoke of the future, about how they think, and about the thinking they wanted to see in their fellow partners. And her thoughts, as those old men droned on across the table, concluded that she did not think the way those partners did nor did she ever want to. She left and went to work for a non-profit women's organization for which she had been volunteering.

Having not seen these women - my aunts and my grandma - since I was fifteen or so, I can't pretend there wasn't any awkwardness when I first showed up at their house. We chatted for several hours and had lunch, but it was all polite chitchat. Then my dad showed up and one aunt and my grandma headed off to Mass with him. I was feeling awkward and said my goodbyes, thinking I would just get on the road, rather than have to make small talk with Aunt Nan for the next hour or so. But suddenly, the crew was banging back in the door after church, and we were shocked to realize over two hours had passed.

I had to leave shortly after to get back to my home before I got too tired. (10 is stretching it for me on the driving these days; I have NO idea how I used to drive back from law school from like 8 pm to 3am!) But Nan gave me an open invitation to chat anytime - and I really want to take her up on it. But I feel slightly odd about it. It's like making friends with an Aunt. Who's 30 years or so older. I know she's family - and believe me she and her sister are SO welcoming - but it still feels a little off to be forging a relationship.

I thought I remembered a quote along the lines of: "change is uncomfortable" or "new growth only comes from taking risks/feeling adrift/etc." It drove me crazy so I finally went to search for it and didn't find the exact quote but found some good ones.

Close to what I was thinking, but with a slightly more history-buff slant: "Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history."

For the broader life lesson reminding me why change is good: "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living."

And I really like this one: "Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers."

I'm off to buy a cozy, slightly-crunchy hat I fell in love with - probably part of my new simpler-life obsession... Have a great Sunday!